lexxiescott (lexxiescott) wrote,
lexxiescott
lexxiescott

  • Location:
  • Mood:
  • Music:

Newspaper headlines

A friend of mine in south Texas sent these to me as a forward. They're just too good not to share. My dad and I are wondering what happened to the concept of newspaper editors.

THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2007:
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas
in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Tags: humor
Subscribe

  • 5 things meme

    from scripps. my five things are as follows: Favourite Character: Sherlock Holmes. I first read one of Doyle's short stories in either 7th or…

  • You make my day

    Pick 10 people and give them the "you make my day" award. If you're picked, you are charged with picking 10 of your own. (Of course if…

  • Lexology

    THE RULES: Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to wipe out my answers and supply your own. After, choose at least 10 people to be tagged. If…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

  • 2 comments